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TROUBLE GOOD MOJO MUSIC ROMANCE CUSTOMIZE STASH BASICS
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TROUBLESHOOTING TROUBLESHOOTING
Rotating your Shorts in Public
Whether wiggling out of soggy swim
trunks at the beach, or slipping into
moisture-wicking bike shorts for a ride
in the country, follow these instructions
for taking it all off and putting it all
back on. And save yourself the lewd
& lascivious downtime.
CAUTION: Car doors should not be
used as privacy screens by those over 6’
tall. Because of your MINI’s lower center
of gravity, doors may be inadequate for
keeping your private bits out of other
people’s snooping noses. So to speak.
1. Wrap a beach towel around your waist.
2. Sit down inside vehicle and, reaching
under towel, use a shimmying motion
to remove what you’re wearing, taking
care not to loosen towel.
3. Repeat in reverse order, applying
clothes until dressed.
Fig. 28 Use discretion. And keep the catcalls, woos and whistles for your MINI.
FOUR THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO TO YOUR MINI
1. Never leave your MINI unattended and unlocked with the
engine running and a giant sign on top reading, "Back in
ten—feel free to move car if in way."
2. Absolutely no Viking helmets. Not the football team, the
ancient Nordic conquerors. No matter how much the explorer
spirit of motoring gets in your blood, resist the urge. Pointy
Viking horns may cause damage to plush vehicle interior.
3. Never drive through flowing water. That’s called motor BOATING.
4. Never call your MINI by another car’s name.
MINI 10535 UOM 7/16/02 11:49 AM Page 32